Construction Haikus

“Kinda? Whaddya mean, kinda? As in, she’s kinda pregnant?” Our meeting jargon.

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 16:14:50 -0700

“Kinda? Whaddya mean, kinda?

As in, she’s kinda pregnant?”

Our meeting jargon.

“Do you like hummus?” “You mean that brown mushy stuff That smells like poo?...

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 09:54:19 -0700

“Do you like hummus?”

“You mean that brown mushy stuff

That smells like poo? No.”

Wearing 2XL Rain jacket down to my knees Don’t need the rain pants.

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 18:05:18 -0800

Wearing 2XL

Rain jacket down to my knees

Don’t need the rain pants.

Knee high in bay mud, Sucking at my rubber boots, Real...

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 18:55:00 -0800

Knee high in bay mud,

Sucking at my rubber boots,

Real elliptical.

Gloves and waders on, Helping geo engineer Collect soil samples.

Tue, 10 Jan 2012 23:04:31 -0800

Gloves and waders on,

Helping geo engineer

Collect soil samples.

Slurring words, he says: You are the most beautiful Construction lady.

Fri, 06 Jan 2012 20:00:00 -0800

Slurring words, he says:

You are the most beautiful

Construction lady.

OAC meeting Small talk about bifocals Used to go hunting.

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:40:35 -0800

OAC meeting

Small talk about bifocals

Used to go hunting.

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 18:10:00 -0800

Wearing designer

Jeans to stomp in the mud seems

Inappropriate

Met owner at lunch, “I thought she would be Swedish, Tall, and blond.” Sorry?

Thu, 15 Dec 2011 19:16:00 -0800

Met owner at lunch,

“I thought she would be Swedish,

Tall, and blond.” Sorry?

Shift now starts at noon It means I have co-workers And need sunglasses.

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:12:50 -0800

Shift now starts at noon

It means I have co-workers

And need sunglasses.

Buttress drilling specs Needs thixotropic fluid Used inside casing.

Tue, 13 Dec 2011 18:12:14 -0800

Buttress drilling specs

Needs thixotropic fluid

Used inside casing.

Drilling foreman talk, Operating crane much like Call of Duty game (!?!)

Fri, 09 Dec 2011 00:03:42 -0800

Drilling foreman talk,

Operating crane much like

Call of Duty game (!?!)

The office party, Everyone goes, I work swing, But boss gives me wine.

Thu, 08 Dec 2011 22:23:03 -0800

The office party,

Everyone goes, I work swing,

But boss gives me wine.

Hole punch confetti Fills pockets of safety vest It’s time to vacuum.

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:56:28 -0800

Hole punch confetti

Fills pockets of safety vest

It’s time to vacuum.

Whizzing rubber balls Creates rainbow of color I duck in my cube.

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:53:50 -0800

Whizzing rubber balls

Creates rainbow of color

I duck in my cube.

30 mph! Need to tighten the hard hat Lest the wind takes it.

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 20:51:29 -0800

30 mph!

Need to tighten the hard hat

Lest the wind takes it.

Waiting for boys’ move, I connect all paper clips And place back in box.

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:50:46 -0800

Waiting for boys’ move,

I connect all paper clips

And place back in box.

Wandering transient He screams, “Fuck you!” and scowls At empty driveway.

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 20:48:55 -0800

Wandering transient

He screams, “Fuck you!” and scowls

At empty driveway.

Revenge can be sweet, Keyboard Scrabble while they’re...

Thu, 17 Nov 2011 18:32:00 -0800

Pwnd

Chiu Sux

Revenge can be sweet,

Keyboard Scrabble while they’re gone,

Are you ready, boys?

Pick-Up Line Fail

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 23:13:54 -0800

“Let’s jog together.”

Authoritatively walk,

That’s all I will do.